is it possible...??

if only we could...live our lives without taking a single wrong turn...

but.....

there is no such thing.

sometimes we fail...sometimes we trip....

sometimes we get lost...sometimes we make mistakes....

we just have...to keep going...

...to keep walking one step at a time...on our own two feet.

even if we might get bruised along the way...

we'll all reach our destination someday...a place where someone will be waiting for us....

that i pray for....

feelings

my heart's so confused...it hurts so much..i felt it again...that feeling of leaving something behind...

to have our 'memories' change...

that loneliness and despair...like part of your body's...been torn off...

even if it's an unforgettable event...it doesn't remain vivid in our memories...

no matter how we try to mend it...or how we swear to hold on to it....time will mercilessly pass us by...

it's so sad...that sadness that eats into you...

i can't...i can't stop it...i can't stop it anymore...

my wish........

i just...don't want......

had already become a 'memory'

a wish...

my chest hurts...it hurts so badly...
like it's about to be ripped apart..

is it because this irrational wish....has mad me so afraid??
because i know....that some wishes....may just never come true...??

but even if this is so....i still wish for it!!
i still wish for it!!

one, two, three!!

HAHAHAHA!! lol (????) oh my......am i stress?? huhu..chocolate~ i want you now..come to mama please~ :p heh-heh-heh...

Mr. Kitto Katsu, please give me chocolate...please~ you, you, you can make me hyper :D

hohoho now you are in my mind~ lets fly, fly, fly high!! heyho~

*random-me*

"you and you"

you...i thank you for all that moments, i thank you for making me thinking of my future, i thank you for making me thinking of my life..and for making me to recall my life memories..you, make me clear enough of what i want..you, make me give up of this one thing..and sure it's better that way because......just because~~ yeah i know after all you done, now you gone..yes i shouldn't regret of what happened, but....how can i handle this?? how?? you, you just don't know...well, i guess it just my mistake after all :')

*better life will comes* insyaAllah

my mind just playing a puzzle, and can't complete it..

i don't need you and you either..i don't need a love story..but........deep inside.....i need you..this heart need you, this heart need someone like you...someone that are care enough...someone that can make me happy..i know its you, but....i'm just no one for you :')

stevie hoang - i'm missing you

Hey
Heyyyy mhmmm
Hey hey [x4]

Love is just a crazy game
You never know what it can bring
So if you have someone
Tell em that you love em
Never ever let it end
Cause you don't know what you really got
Until it's just much too late
So cherish every moment that you spend with em
Promise not to let them go...
Cause girl you had my heart
Right from the very start
But still you gotta know

[Chorus:]
Even though I told myself that I moved
Deep down I keep on holding on
It's crazy but true
Girl I'm missing you
And although I'm with somebody else
Girl I can't keep lying to myself
And no matter what I gotta face the truth
She just ain't you
She just ain't you...

It don't matter how hard I try
I just can't get you off my mind
It's driving me crazy
Missing you baby
Thinking bout you all the time
Shes everything a man could want
But you're the one I need
To me it's not worth it
Though she may be perfect
She could never be like you...
Cause girl you had my heart
Right from the very start
But still you gotta know baby...

[Chorus:]
Even though I told myself that I moved
Deep down I keep on holding on
It's crazy but true
Girl I'm missing you
And although I'm with somebody else
Girl I can't keep lying to myself
And no matter what I gotta face the truth
She just ain't you
She just ain't you...

It hurts to move on
Cause your all I ever knew
And I gotta stay strong
So I can't break down and cry
Cry...

[Chorus:]
Even though I told myself that I moved
Deep down I keep on holding on
It's crazy but true
Girl I'm missing you
And although I'm with somebody else
Girl I can't keep lying to myself
And no matter what I gotta face the truth
She just ain't you

No matter what I gotta face the truth...
She just ain't you...

that day and now :)

"i want a relationship" can i shout this loud????? :') am i happy now?? what people expect in relationship anyway??? why i can't move on when actually i found someone better?? what i expect to happen?? am i doing good?? am i not that good?? am i stupid?? well, i got thousands of questions, but not even a single answer can make me awake..awake from this nightmare :')

p/s: stevie hoang's songs accompany my days..

what left for me???

assalamualaikum :) been awhile since my last update, hehe too lazy to type and post here..hmmm there is no much different in my life tho :) i'm still looking for my happiness..and i can say that i'm a bit giving up for him..things are getting complicated..and i can feel that my feeling are faded away ( if i'm not confuse with my own feeling ) or it just because i'm tired to be like this..but i'll go through this, because "Allah sentiasa bersama orang yang sabar"...i've done everything just to make things more clearer, but if its still not enough and everything seems the same may be it just a matter of time...i always pray for my good and my happiness..cause i know Allah knows better than me, He plan everything for good :)

p/s; today, its first ramadhan in brunei..happy fasting for all muslim :)

conscience...

It's better to believe than to doubt a person's kindness..

A conscience isn't something people are born with..People are born with attributes like greed and appetite...survival instincts..

But a conscience is something that grows with you, it grows inside you with time..That's why everyone's 'conscience' is shaped differently.....

Desire is something that's inborn, so nobody doubt that....but kindness is something that's shaped from one's conscience.....so sometimes, people question its sincerity..

But....you must believe....It's human nature to doubt others...And if you grow up to be someone whom others can believe in....you will be able to help others believe, too...

to go for it or to go against it??

love, love, love~ why everything have to do with love?? -.- yeah love supposed to be something sweet that can make us smile..but for some instance, it can make us feel so fed-up and so confuse..

actually, what is love??? i haven't found any best description of it..even by "google" it up, can't fully describe what love is..

how can i know what i feel is love or someting else?? should i just follow what my heart said without knowing what is it actually or without thinking too much of it?? is it as simple as that???

BUT, maybe i should just wait and let the time tell me what to do :)

hates, loves or nothing??

as for me, hate is when we don't even want to be with that someone..it's when we get annoyed with that someone..it's when we don't even want to care of that someone..it's when we don't even bother to know about that someone..

love is when we can't be without that someone..love is when we think he/she is the one that will always make us happy..it's when we think he/she is our everything..it's when we want to spend most of our time with that someone, hours without that someone feels like years..and because of love we can forgive that someone no matter how big is their mistake..

BUT can we call it as love when we miss that someone??

and what we call it if we hate and love that someone on a same time??is it just a short-term hates or loves??

clint black - put yourself in my shoes

Your mind is made up you won't even try
You didn't even cry this time
You say that we could never see eye to eye
And one of us just must be blind

We have our differences
We're still the same
See what we want to see
But you take a second look
And maybe things wouldn't seem the same
If you could see what you mean to me

Put yourself in my shoes
Walk a mile for me
I'll put myself in your shoes
Maybe then we'd see
That if you put yourself in my shoes
You'd have some sympathy
And if I could only put myself in your shoes
I'd walk right back to me

You're gonna keep walkin' and
You're gonna pass me by
You say you don't even care
But I could always recognize a real good-bye
And I know your heart's not there

We've had our differences
We're still the same
Hear what we want to hear
Now I'm head over heels in the lost and found
It's a cryin' shame
I thought we made the perfect pair

Put yourself in my shoes
Walk a while walk that mile for me
I'll put myself in your shoes
Maybe then we'd see
That if you put yourself in my shoes
You'd have some sympathy
And if I could only put myself in your shoes
I'd walk right back to me

I'd walk right back to me
I'd walk right back to me

being sentimental :'(

listening to emo song plus with someone giving that advice make me so weak...why i'm doing this anyway?? huhu :'( i just can't understand it....why can't i just go through this?? can i just let it be this way??

him...missing :)

last night he said "tau ka penantian itu satu penyiksaan" hahaha i still don't get it, hows it relate with our holiday to KL?? hmmm..i guess i realise one thing about him, if i'm not wrong tho..."his changes" :) hoho its been more than one week we haven't meet, and he's been busy....i miss you, much :)

Pasto - Jujur Aku Tak Sanggup (VC + Lyrics)

this song given by him for me on 12th april 2011..he said this is how he really feel after we broke up..

missing you, loves..

you make me miss you so much~ :) yeah i know you are waiting for our next date, right??just be patience, the time will come, and it just around the corner..insyaAllah :) i thank You Allah for all the good things You have given to me..THANKS for all the reward..i wish everything will goes so well and better :) and i wish no bad things will happen in our relationship again :) AMIN!!

1st march 2011 :)

hello, its 1st of march..1year and 11months been with him :) 31days left for my 2nd anniversary with him, my only soulmate md al-matin bin hj hidop...and him...what i feel of him, i hope its true..i hope its the right path, right way :) i hope forever we will be like this, and getting more more more better..my feeling for him, i'm so sure no one can change it EXCEPT Allah..

i love you md al-matin bin hj hidop, my muffin <3

hmmm -_-

i wonder what happen to blogger -__- i can't change the color of my post..hmm..and it looks dull, same goes to my life..huhu..things will go much complicated than it is now, so i'll just be ready for it..ahha i don't want to talk about my life actually..

ok, back to the point..how to change the color of the post?? anyone??i've tried to change it as usual, but nothing happened!!

secret loves =)

hmmmm....secret loves?? or...what should i call it?? =) well, just follow what he want..be patience, that what i should do for now =) not everthing will goes as what we want..

what to do?? :'(

i am so stuck between my heart and.......... :'( Allah help me..give me strength, give me your mercy..i really can't handle this T_T really need it sooner...me, myself are getting worst :'(

muffin :')

*sigh* a sigh at early beginning??is not a good sign right?? :') huhuhu...i miss you, yeah you...sorry, there would be no stories about that guy..cause he's the one that i love..wonder who? its my only soulmate, matin bin hj hidop......but, it is soo complicated..and i'm waiting for that problem to just gone, like nothing happened T_T

*sigh* i've been thinking too long, why this happen to me?? you just have to trust me, trust me, trust me..there is no one else i always think of..can you just understand that?? i really really hope everything to back to normal, to how we were before..